Sunday, January 30, 2011

My Dying Bride

Has there ever been a moment in your life when you've been able to describe yourself as the eye of a storm? As if everything is spiralling around you, out of control - until finally something breaks. I wouldn't know it for a while yet, but there was a wind picking up behind me. Ignorant me ignored the signs and stood out in the open, vulnerable to the downpour. And pour down it did.
I was cold, alone and sad. I didn't understand why it was raining on me and why it wouldn't stop. I cried out for someone to save me from the darkness descending upon the night, like a blanket that was suffocating me. I didn't want to believe it was happening, but I couldn't hide from it. I wanted to scream but only choked on my breath. They tried to help but they couldn't reach me. I eventually returned to the warmth of their side and told them. We hugged my pain away.
It was calm. Almost as if nothing had ever happened. I felt, for a moment, as if I had actually grown a little. But you can never escape something like that. The second it is remembered, it comes back to haunt you. I feel lost.

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